Live Your Life to its Completeness and Embrace Death Gracefully!

What would be your response if I told you that thinking about death could actually make you live better? Sounds strange, right? We’ve been brought up mostly avoiding the topic ‘death’ and we feel death is grim, uncomfortable, and something you “don’t talk about.” But, do you know the very thing we fear about, could become one of our greatest motivations for us living our life to its completeness?

You know, I am very much afraid of death! Yes, I have a lot of fear about death and more than that losing any of my loved ones! The mere mention of death can stir up fear, sadness, and uncertainty. But, I know very well that I am not immortal! My loved ones are also not! For that matter, no one is, right? 

A few years ago, one of my cousins lost her husband. It was sudden, and it hit her harder than expected. At first, she literally collapsed in grief and we needed to admit her to the hospital to give her some mental rest. Slowly, she began to realize that it is not an end in the way we often think of it. Having a three-year-old son, she understood just mourning for what was lost will not help her anymore. Rather than focusing only on the pain of losing someone, she started to see what next. 

Nowadays, more frequently we hear about death at an early age. The sudden demise of a 45-year-old due to a heart attack, like that, isn’t it? I feel very sad when little kids say that they lost their father or mother. We can expect our end at any day, any time. We have to accept that universal truth and be prepared to embrace our death gracefully. For that, we need to do certain things now! 

The mother of my friend, maybe two years before her death, told her husband and her children where she had kept all her documents, what she expected from them when she breathed last, and what had to be done with her belongings like her jewelry, dresses, etc. At that time her family was a little annoyed to hear all those from her, but that helped them to decide what had to be done without any confusion when she left the world. Even when their relatives suggested doing certain things, they could easily say this is what she wanted! 

This is the most important thing we can also do in our life.

We can even write all our wishes in a diary or notebook instead of telling our family and making them embarrassed! It also could be in the form of a letter to our loved ones! We can even write our personal thoughts and reflections, forgiving others and our own selves. These personal messages are a powerful way to make sure our intentions and feelings are known when we’re no longer there with them.

If we care for our loved ones we have to take some responsible steps while living to reduce stress and confusion for them later.

The foremost important step is organizing our important documents and belongings. This might include wills(do not wait to get aged to write the will!), life insurance policies, account details, locker details, medical records, etc, and making sure they know where to find our essential documents. May be in a file safely placed in a secured place either at home or at a bank or now we can store it in a drive and give the access to a family member. This is a simple yet very essential one that ensures we’re leaving things organised for those who remain. It is not an emotionally easy task, but it provides peace for us and also for our family, what do you say?

In addition to organizing documents, it’s also equally important to resolve legal matters, such as property disputes, outstanding debts, or litigation, if any.  If there are any unresolved issues, we can clear them now. Ensuring that our property and assets are in order will ease the burden on our children while handling things for us later.

Can you see that life is too short to hold onto grudges, anger, or guilt? They only hold us back from living in peace. Forgiving others and of course forgiving ourselves for any mistakes or regrets we may be holding onto is one of the most important steps that will free us from grudges and guilt! If there’s someone in our life with whom we’ve had unresolved conflict, we may reach out to clear the air. It definitely lightens our emotional load. My friend Keerthi used to tell me whether her husband would be like this only, without understanding what she expects from him, till either one of them dies! If we have such grievances we can discuss them with the person concerned and share our expectations clearly, will it help?

Finally, a few things that we can do to live more intentionally: 

• Instead of getting caught up in the commotion of daily life, we can focus on what truly matters like spending more time with loved ones, pursuing a creative project, or learning something new.  Doing things that align with our values will give direction and meaning to our lives.
• The people we love are the true treasures of our lives. We can make a sincere effort to invest our time and mind in relationships, making phone calls, visiting them, and simply being with the people who matter most. It’s these relationships that keep us fulfilled.
• Instead of focusing on what we could have done differently, we can shift our focus to what we can do now. It’s not good for us to dwell on the past. To let go of past mistakes and regrets will give us peace of mind! 
• Practicing mindfulness, whether it’s through meditation, mindful walking, or simply being aware of our surroundings will help. We are easily getting distracted by the past or future, but mindfulness brings us back to the present. Being at the present moment is a way to live life to the fullest.
• Taking care of our body and mind ensures that we can enjoy life more fully. 

Accepting that death is inevitable and practicing these things can help us to live in a way that’s more peaceful, intentional, and full of purpose. Also for our loved ones!