‘Because Of’ Limits You, ‘In Spite Of’ Lifts You – Life Is Never ‘Because Of’, It’s Always ‘In Spite Of’
When I Chose Comfort Over Challenge – And What It Taught Me About Life
No one will be interested in reasons. Everyone is interested in performance.
When I look back now, I realise there were times I stepped back from opportunities — not because I couldn’t, but because it felt safer not to.
Once, it was fear.
Another time, it was exhaustion.
Both times, I said no when life invited me to grow.
Those decisions taught me one of the most valuable lessons of my life — a lesson I’d like to share with you today.
When I was doing my M.Phil degree at Anna University, Chennai, I received an offer from the Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore, for the post of Research Associate.
I got this invite after clearing the all-India competitive exam conducted by the UGC jointly with CSIR and was awarded the Junior Research Fellowship.
But I didn’t go.
I was afraid — afraid of stepping into a new place where I didn’t know anyone.
And because of that fear, I refused the offer.
I missed such a wonderful opportunity, didn’t I?
The Second Missed Chance
Just before my marriage, I got another opportunity — a teaching position at Sri Sarada College for Women, Salem. It was a QIP leave vacancy, a government order for 11 months.
But I got married in between and settled in Chennai. So, every weekend I used to travel from Salem to Chennai and back.
Friday evenings, I would board the Kovai Express from Salem and reach Chennai around 11 p.m. Monday mornings, I had to catch the 6 a.m. train back. Waking up that early, traveling alone, and managing everything by myself added fuel to the already burning stress.
And because of that, I wanted to quit. My husband was also concerned and supported my decision.
I had to pay three months’ salary as a penalty for resigning mid-contract — and more than that, I missed one full year of valuable experience.
The Realization
Even now, I regret those two decisions.
I made those mistakes because I didn’t understand one thing:
👉 Life is never ‘because of’. Life is ‘in spite of’.
We can always give reasons and say,
“Because of so many things, I’m dropping out.”
But we can also choose to say,
“In spite of all these challenges, I will continue.
The Power of “In Spite Of”
When we use ‘because of’, our mind starts preparing more reasons. We justify our decisions and quietly give up.
But when we use ‘in spite of’, our mind becomes powerful. It brings out our strength, our courage, and our best potential.
No one is interested in reasons — everyone is interested in performance.
If we look back, we’ve all said at some point,
“I had family problems; because of that, I couldn’t focus.”
But imagine saying instead,
“In spite of my family challenges, I gave my best.”
That’s the mindset that builds leaders.
The Common Trap We Fall Into
After realising this difference, I started noticing how often we all fall into the same trap.
One of my friends, for instance, resigned from a well-known organisation because of her hectic routine with children and their studies.
At that time, it felt like the right thing to do. But now, she regrets that decision.
We’ve all been there — stepping back because of fear, pressure, or uncertainty.
But the truth is, there will always be reasons to quit.
Can you see, the key lies in recognising the difference between the two:
‘Because of’ holds us back.
‘In spite of’ lifts us forward.
The Mantra to Remember
You might have heard this before —
where excellence exists, explanations are seldom required.
And where explanations exist, excellence is seldom achieved.
That’s exactly what “in spite of” teaches us — to focus on doing, not on explaining.
When we live in spite of challenges, we stop giving excuses and start giving our best.
That’s when excellence naturally follows. So,
let’s rule out “because of”
and get in “in spite of.”That’s the mantra —
the mindset that lifts us, shapes us, and leads us to true excellence. ✨
